Judge Me...

For sentimental reasons, there are few things that make me more anxious than excited.

I look forward to homecomings and being in places with back stories.

***

One of the hardest things in life is to judge. In one context, the bible tells us not to judge. That's a different story.

As part of my job, I was tasked to judge essay writing contests that our office conducted. There were actually four. The very first was, in a way, very sentimental. Aside from my sister is a head of one of the departments in that school, the place was my father's hometown- Abucay, Bataan. In my younger years, I just could not get how persistent my father was for us to visit where he came from. It is only now that I understand desire for the children to know their roots. In the next two contests, I was not at the contest venue. They just delivered the entries in the office. The last one was equally sentimental. It was such a challenge that I have to be in Mariveles, Bataan at 8:00am, where my father served as Municipal Treasurer for couple of years. He already resigned by the time he had me and then moved on with plenty of business misdeals. Until his later years, that (being Municipal Treasurer) defined who he was.

Of the four contests, one thing was common. Determining who had the best interpretation of the theme "Ikaw at Ako Tungo sa Wastong Pagrerehistro" was easy. I could even not take them seriously. It's just that I made a conscious effort to think that this may mark a milestone in one constestant's life. Sure, ours may not be the most prestigious contest in the country but I foresee that the winner would likely remember that in his lifetime. 

***

On my part, the first time I was invited to be a contest judge, I somehow declared to myself, I indeed arrived. Seriously or not, it takes integrity and expertise to be invited as one. Anyways, the very first judging task I got was for a barangay, ehem! amateur singing contest no less. In as much as I wanted to set my mind to be objective, there's nothing I can do when I learned that one contestant is a close relative. The best that I can do was to hope that people don't get the connection. Anyways, the last names were different.

We almost were not able to go home alive. In every Filipino contest, it is inevitable to claim that the result was luto (fixed), which in this case is quite true.

***  

The other judging task was to judge the Best Muse for the school's Intramurals. There were few things I remember about that experience.

1. That I got big pack of "samba" chocolate as token of appreciation.

2. That a member of the organizing committee interviewed me for my credentials. Obviously for introduction. On my left is a modelesque lass and on my right, seemed to me, a local beauty queen. At the middle, I'm a member of the faculty. I was not invited because of my expertise in beauty but because there has to be someone judging from the school. The worse, the program ended with the host forgetting to acknowledge even our mere names.

3. I was at my most objective because none of the candidates was my student.

4. The best muse winner turned out to be the candidate I gave the lowest score. This candidate was in a cocktail dress. Intramurals, remember. Another worse, when she becomes my student the semester after, she thanked me for making her win.

***

The most recent was judging the "Faculty Got Talent" of the same school. Explanation: "Pilipinas Got Talent" - only the contestants were members of the faculty. For the earlier part, the first task was to judge for the performances of the students as final term requirement in Physical Education Class as sidelight. Two years ago I was part of the same contest as a contestant. They instructed us that we had the will to choose our talent spot. Everyone chose to sing. That confused that audience when I performed my piece - poetry.

As for my experience as a judge, there was nothing really difficult about it. I don't have a close friend among my co-teachers which gave me the liberty to score objectively. What bothered me was the party's master of ceremony. In instances he runs out of things to say, he repetitively reads the names of the judge. In the entire duration of the program, we were at least introduced fifty times.

*** 

Sure, ours may not be the most prestigious contest in the country but I foresee that the winner would likely remember that "win" in his lifetime. 

I know right because I was. There is nothing more sentimental than judging the same essay writing contest I won 19 years ago.

Richard Guevara the Photographer 2: Not Quite Getting There

I'll be very persistent that I will NOT be a photographer. Let just say that I take pictures - or I have to take pictures because I cover our office's activities as part of my job.

Recently, we got access (not really access, I just can't find the correct term) to a government website for us to contribute on a regular basis or at least as the need arises. With that, my mindset is to take pictures on a journalist's point of view instead of Facebook frenzy.

What are these things? When my boss is on a speaking engagement, I have to take good shots of: 1.  her in serious speaking mode, 2. the backdrop for people to know where is she of what activity is it,  3. a glimpse of audience to determine how many people attended the event -all of these in one frame. Simple, Newstory accommodates only one picture in newspaper or in this case, news website. 

Nonetheless, I can't help thinking about what I can be as a photographer. With every activity I attend to, I try to capture images on the artistic side - at least on my standard. With some aspects of photography, this is to show how I progress - or how I don't.

1. Photojournalism.

2. Portraits.  

3. Landscape. 

4. Food Photography

EARLY RETIREMENT

At 35, it is too early to retire. Uhmmm.. it depends to the retirement. 

One month ago, I decided to stop drinking alcohol for good. 

***

I dunno know. Anywhere you go and whoever you're with, it is inevitable that you talk about on drinking session, when you learned to drink and how much you can at your peak. Thus, sharing it with you means telling the same story for hundredth time. 

People get the impression that I'm a heavy drinker. Thank to the genes.  For quite some time I can say I was a lasengero (drunkard), but the heavy drinker was and has always been a trick. I can stay uplate and upright in the sessions primarily because of strategy.  

Drinking was the last thing that's expected of me when I was young. My father didn't drink at all. People must have thought that I was in very wholesome set of friends to learn about that. I have always believed in trying to fit in is not a negative trait but  I always know who I am. Drinking is something I did because of peer pressure and but realized that it's part of who I really am. I really love conversations and being carefree to show where I come from. The best of all, it gives excuses to be mayabang which something I kept away in real life. 

My earliest memory of San Miguel was around high school. For odd reason, there were left over beer in the ref after fiesta. I asked my aunt if I can have it. When I tried it, I didn't like the taste and dismissed the possibilities that we can get along in the future.

Fast forward 2014 - at 35 years old, I am saying goodbye to a significant part of my life, which is possible as I see it.

***

I list down few highlights of the things I remember about.

1. I always brag about not blowing at the session table. That's true because I can manage to do that in the CR, come back and pretend nothing happened.

2. In my late teens when no one was inviting me for a drink, I buy on my own. I drink beer in can alone inside the CR in our home.

3. As I remember, It was only twice that I was not able to go home because of being drunk. The worst was I really don't remember what's between the town fiesta where we drink and my friend's room where I woke up.

4. I stood as groom's man once on my friend wedding where the inuman started after lunch. Among the barkadas I was the only one who were there early because I was of the part of the entourage. I had to join the groom's other set of friends. By around 5:00, I started texting my friends - Putsa nasan na kyo? Lasing na lasing na ko di pa rin kayo dumarating!

5. It was on my 21st birthday that first time na may inuman courtesy of my brother who was in first first job by that time. On my last birthday, he also prepared for the inuman when I no longer. I just join his friends but I was never convinced to take even a single drop.

6. My first official taste of gin was at my friend's house. I usually find his father taking his daily sip of alcohol whenever I go to his house. He once asked me if I do drink. The next thing I remember, my brother and sister had to picked me up because I was so wasted. On our way home, my kuya does not want to alalay me. he told me, that's something I have to learn - to still manage to walk home. My sister on the other hand was asking if I have a problem. I don't have a problem. I just took the opportunity of the first time I was offered to drink. I had seven shots.

***

Anyways, our office has a benefit for annual medical exam. I availed of that last December and found out my creatinine is beyond normal. The next day, I join the office's social party and decided that the Red Horse I drank that night was my last.

This was around the same time an office mate underwent his first sessions of dialysis.  

Newspaper, stool and Lego Movie

One of my simple joys is to get free newpaper from a breakfast meal in fastfood. In my lean moments, I have to survive going to the office without breakfast during Monday mornings when I would come from Dau Terminal. On the days that I saved enough, it was such a major treat taking breakfast joy in Jollibee. Although I admit the best coffee in the world is from MCDonald's, I still marvel such breakfast - either pancakes or spaghetti.

It's been awhile since I had my last experience so last Monday was a special morning. Then, I got my Philippine Star.

*** 

 The photo above is not my kitchen. Mine still lacks finishing touches. I have a bar which has undone effect. What's missing is a bar stool. I envision the bar not only to be working table for kitchen but a multi-purpose space where I can do school and office work. Why? because it's far from my bed so I won't get asleep easily. Next, it has good WIFI signal.

The stool where I sit (left on the bottom photo), is an heirloom piece from the ancestral house. My aunt once told me that she had that in her RTW store and brought that home when she closed it. Made of pure "authentic" hard wood, it is certainly expensive if I intend to have my version of it. What I next envision is look for a less expensive design such as on the right photo. I have yet to print the photo and ask a furniture maker how much should I spend for two pieces.

***

My wife and I have always been hesitant to bring Elmo to the movie house, for the fear that he might ask us to leave without finishing the film. Back story which I have previously shared is he got scared of the 3D animation attraction in Hongkong Disneyland.

Officially, "My Little Bossing" is our first film to watch as a family. We are casualties of the Ryzza Mae craze. Since then, he would always ask us to bring him to a movie. We have to remind him that movies such as MLB  are on limited run. We can not watch MLB whenever we want. Post Valentine date should have been a movie treat of "Starting Over Again". We thought that he might not enjoy the film so we decided to bring him to "The Lego Movie".

"Everthing is Awesome!" Last Song-Syndrome and Last Movie Syndrome. Elmo is yet to move on from the movie since then.

***

Attention Deficit Disorder

If other people can boast of impressive collections, I can consider that the thing I have most at the moment is the magazine. Categorically, I have magazine collection. It all started when I had my first Men's Health magazine, which I got as back issue. This was around the time that I was financially distressed but wanted to get abs. At P65, I look forward to the back-issues of the month of MH.

The transition came when I started to be involved in building my own and my brother's house. By then I was already an addict for home design magazines, which include entertainment magazines featuring  celebrity homes. Then evolved to lifestyle magazine. In essence, I did not really collect them, it's just my interest in this phase of my life. It happens that I don't dispose all of them. The other treasured ones are kept - whola!, my collections.

I read them over and over.

I have my sacred time. Let's just say right before I take a bath. You know when. This started long ago. Poo-poo-ing just bores me. I need to be pre-occupied. As they say, time is gold. Reading is the best way to kill time - and I guess the most productive.

I can't read books. I don't read books. I can not digest the idea of the lengthy chapters to obtain a single line of thought. Newspapers (in the early phase of my life) and magazines' features would only consume five to ten minutes of my time. Ideal!

Summary: I don't read books because I have short memory span, that explains why I have magazine collection.

Related to that, I list down  few things that can be considered not-so-serious-statistics.

1. Despite the years of FHM phenomenon - I didn't buy any until May 2013.  I was a legitimate adult male at 25 or so when Katrina Halili and Christine Reyes ruled men's mag universe. I kept a promise to Ryza Cenon that my first and only FHM should be hers. 

2. Rewind: my first Maxim was Wendy Valdez on the cover in August 2007. My pact with Ryza is limited to FHM. 

3. I got my first Rogue in Recto, which I bought not a back issue but a second hand item, with an unknown (by that time) lady on the cover, Solenn. 

4. My first Esquire was just few days ago. This led me to post on my FB account "Itinaya ko na ang yaman ko.. mabili ka lamang.." Admit it, the price is equivalent to 5 kilos of rice.

This is a far cry from the destitute who waits for the back issue. Anyway, that is a back issue - JL's back on the cover. It was pure coincidence that I usually pose like that. Isn't it evident on the profile photo?

2. I initially believed and got the result of following instructions from MH workouts. It then faded when someone advised me that those muscles could not be achieved without Steriods. Albeit, I just went tired of it.

3. Now, I copy layouts of the magazines for our office's publications. Not that I'm not aware of intellectual property right, I think it would just be too hard for them to find out, nor they have that time in the world.

4. How many do I have? I don't count. What I know is that I wipe them as frequent as I rearrange my room, which is estimatedly twice a year. 

It stops here. The point when I realized that the things I'm saying are no longer statistics.  

***

I've always thought that what I have is short-term attention span. It turned out that I have to ignore "term" as I Googled it. Then, I learned of the term Attention Deficit Disorder. Ang sarap pakinggan - pangmatalino.   

Fashion 101: My fashion style?!

I saw this ad and was so fancied by the porma of the guy. Photo credits to the owner.

When you have your own family you tend to regard yourself as the last priority. This is definitely true in my case. I've been so busy catching up with our bills and my projects in building the house.

It's been three years of neglecting my fashion sense. I have problems too. My fancy with ukay-ukay has gone sour. I can't even bear entering an UK shop. I also did not feel the need all these years because I hate my big belly. Nothing looks good on my big tummy. I have only been borrowing clothes from my brother. He works abroad and I'm settling for the clothes he does not bring. 

As part of my plan for 2013 to be "back in the game!", I set rules. 1) I was into sale pants as far as I remember, which means my jeans are always past season. Therefore, my plan was to have 12 pants ( one month each) this year which at least few of them, not bought on discounted price. Today is June and I have 5  new pants so far. Actually, I have to catch up for one pair for this month. 2) Ultimately, I am going to shed off pounds to have abs this year. No compromise! Abs. I don't intend to be the macho guy around but to be pleasant enough for fashionable shirts.

***

Sorry for the selfie. I am posting some of my photos through the years.

These are my office uniform fashion. We have the official uniform which are pairs of polo and slacks.
We do Field work so we have alternative uniform which are more comfortable shirts and denim pants.

These are what I mentioned about my pahiram-ng-damit-kuya fashion. 

***

Lately, my wife usually panics about dress codes of the events she has to attend. Firstly, she has no time to shop for these requirement. She would text me about what smart casual, evening summer, sports and the likes are. I also have affairs in the office which require me to have formal, semi-formal and summer outfits. My wife would be amazed how I give attention to following those require attires.

I've been into vintage shirts lately.

I have been into vintage shirts lately. We frequently go to the mall and I see that there is "mall fashion". It is sort of declaring "I bought this last time and I'm buying again". The pang-mall clothes are usually shorts and shirt. I just have problems with wearing shorts. I can't stand wearing shorts and shoes and when I wear shorts them with slippers, the get up looks pambahay. I also have concerns that we might go to other places that require long pants and shoes.

Vintage shirts from Artwork were my last purchases. I am basically in scarcity of polo-shirts so I have problems if occasions require smart casuals attires.

***

So what's my fashion style?

The shirt is my greatest ukay
find ever.

As much as possible I have to follow what's in. In pants I'm still into skinny and re-cut pants. I see people of my age who are not. I just don't want to get stuck on certain era despite being in my 30's. In evaluating what to wear, I look at people of my age on how they look. Christian Bautista, Piolo Pascual and Dennis Trillo are of almost my age bracket. They can get away with fads because dress for shows. For ordinary people, it is more awful see not dressing appropriately with times than not dressing with age. As I see it, mid 30's is not so old. Anyway, I have my wife to tone me down when I dress too young for my age.

This brings me to the complaints I hear from my office mates about their sons' fashion style which are too fit  and quite revealing clothes. Then, they would realize that is so close to how I dress up. Their sons are in their early 20's.

***

Fashion is part of the theme of this blog so expect to have more posts about it as series. I will be exploring fashion, getting up and looks in general. It's just the first post so it focuses on me.

Richard Guevara the Photographer

This is my shot. I cover for the office's regular activities and events so ang orientation ko supposedly is journalism style ng photography. I have to capture the action. This photo has daya. It was shot from a regular digi-cam and I enhanced it. 

Matapos ang pagka-haba habang panahon di pa rin ako nakakabili ng DSLR Camera, kahit ung pinaka-mura lang.

Web definitions A digital single-lens reflex camera (digital SLR or DSLR) is a digital camera that uses a mechanical mirror system and pentaprism to... en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSLR_camera

One indication of success, however you define it, is when you get invitations for speaking engagement, serve as judge in contests or ultimately, get featured in a magazine or newspaper. I envision of how I am going to be asked of my accomplishments. I got invited in small time singing and beauty contests few times and it excites me how am I going to be introduced. At the jury table, I was approached by a student, then she listed down where I work or how I could pass as an adequate person to asses beauty. The program was a disaster and it ended without mentioning who -along with other judges, we are.

I have yet to do speaking engagement. In our office I get to have the task of asking the accomplishments of our guest speakers. There is even a rule of not asking the person himself. I have to get it from the secretary or any of the staff. Anyway, the magazine feature is a planet afar from reality. 

I would simply love to be introduced as Government Employee, Part time Instructor and a writer. If they happen to know that I have a Master's degree that would be fine but I won't be the one tell them If they don't.

Interests would give layer on my personality like I manage blog, or I won a prestigious writing contest or I'm into photography but not a photographer.

***

I will never be a photographer.
I intend to buy a DSLR camera but I don't intend to be a photographer.

There are things I won't do had I acquired one.
1. I will not do pre-nup pictorials and wedding coverage. Everyone does that and I don't think I would make any difference.
I am a follower of Daphne.ph and her previous journal where I read that she had photo journalist on her wedding. I really loved how her wedding was covered -as I remember. I can't find them now. She must have made them private now.

2. I will not do portfolio of a local contest.
I just won't.

3. I will not put a mark RGuevara Photography on my photos especially those uploaded in Facebook account.
I met someone and upon introduction, he said that I have a namesake who is a very brilliant photographer. He's from Bataan also and I hear praises for him. So it would not be a very good idea if people gets upset in cases of mistaken identity. Having a screen name may be an option. Anyway I have three more names as choices.

4. I will take pictures of penitensya and senakulo. that's totally gross.
I just won't.

5. I will not get an affiliation from a photography club - especially nude or body painting sessions.
I just won't.

So what will I do?

I manage blogs so I have to come up with interesting visuals to complement my writing. I was greatly inspired by what I saw in TV interview. I can't remember exactly who. I had Senator Chiz Escudero in mind but I checked the internet but there was no trace that he's into photography. The next person in mind is Atty. Raymond Fortun which I confirmed that he's into Wedding photography.  He got into Photography because he gets upset about not capturing important moments in his family life like the exact moment of pinning of medal or handing of diploma on his children's graduation. Elmo is only one four years old. I'm sure that there are still lots of graduations and firsts that I can capture.

I do field work and there are lots of things I see that I must have taken pictures of. I really like structures, interior design, landscapes and furniture.

I  grabbed works of friends who are into photography where I can draw inspiration.  Euphemism for persons I am envious of.

Melanie V. Diaz
She's a classmate in grade school. if you'll look at her FB account, 1 million na yata pictures niya dun. I've been doing publications for our office which I need pictures of Bataan. I sent a message to ask permission to use her picture. I got a very welcoming response. She'll take you to a journey through the places she has been. It not just because that she's going to lots of place, the magic is how she showcases the each of them.

chicago botanic garden

discover bataan

 henna tattoo 101 the indian way

 sidetrip to vietnam

Roy Dela Cruz
Among my high school classmates, he is the one on photography. I think I am (FB) friends with most of my batch mates but he's the only one who does photography. He must have another account for his works or not keen enough on showing most of them. His FB account is not that generous but for those few albums posted you'll get to know his style. The best work so far (according to our batchmates) is how he covered our high school reunion. 

His account describes the right picture "trying to make my own self portrait,,,,,... wala magawa..."

this is one of his first works as described in his FB account.

Rowell Renosa
He's my brother in law. He captures family moments such as thosse found in my other blog. 

the photoshoot queen felicity.

Israel Matias
He is a cousin of my brother in law. I just know he's a photographer so why not add him on the list. These are two of his works. I think he does it for profession kasi may label "iam photography". 

***
Anyway, this is just a blog post - not a contract. I might still change my mind.